PDA

View Full Version : looks like i put this in wrong place before



jurrk
05-16-2007, 12:10 PM
I started having panic attacks more then 10 years ago. they kept getting progressively worse the older i got until at about 21 it got so bad I'd sit alone in the garage and cry, because it was just too much to handle anymore.
At that point I finally got over the shame of being "weak minded" and sought therapy.
Skip ahead 3 years (around x-mas 05)I'm feeling fine, and had been panic attack free for about a year. I decided I was "cured" so I joined the Navy. "ever been in therapy?" they asked "of coarse not!" says I. O.K. I'm in.
WOW was that stupid. no sooner does the bus pull through the gates at NRTC in Great Lakes, IL. then I feel a panic attack coming on, now this is different then the ones i was having before (or perhaps time's dulled them in my memory). None the less I did my best to look calm and keep going about my biz.
I didn't do a very good job because my RDC sent me off to the Doc. who told me that i was agoraphobic and sent me home.
That was in Oct. 06 I figured the panic attacks would subdue when I got home and I'd go about life as usual. Not true, they have continued at the elevated sense that they were at in boot camp.
At this point not only am i stuck in the house, but it's still not enough i don't feel "safe" in my own house. All the blinds are down and closed but i still find myself checking to make sure no one is looking through the holes that are in each slat (where the cord strings through them) I don't turn on the lights at night because that may draw attention to my apartment, and still worry that the light from the T.V. or PC monitor will be too much.
At the rate this is getting worse I'm scared as to when it's going to "level off" If someone had told me six months ago I'd be as bad off as I am I'd of been offended, but here I am, and still getting worse. I don't want to find myself in another month or two living in my closet.
I can step back and look at myself from an outside perspective, and I'm well aware that I HAVE to do something and do it fast, but the inability to leave the house makes therapy hard to get to. (or afford, considering i of coarse haven't been able to apply for work since coming home from boot camp)
I have NO idea what I can do, The last time I tryed to go for help but I could only make it so far as my car. I need some idea what else i can do? I can't think of ANY plan B (none that leave me alive anyway) I'd have myself admitted but we're poor VERY poor any kind of long term care would leave my family on the street most likely
I just don't know what else i can do, please if there's any options that I may not know of let me know. I was running out of options before. now I'm just plain out of them.

FLORENCE
05-16-2007, 02:13 PM
:( :(



JURRK.....I AM NOT SURE BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE HERE IN THE UNITEDS STATES????? IF SO I CAN TELL YOU THAT YOU CAN CALL YOUR COUNTY OR STATE MENTAL HEALTH DEPT. AND FIND OUT WHAT HELP THEY CAN GIVE YOU!!!!! THERE ARE PROGRAMS THAT ARE HELPFUL FOR PEOPLE IN NEED!! I WILL TELL YOU , THAT AS A RECOVERING AGORAPHOBIC,,,,THE LONGER YOU STAY INSIDE HIDING IN YOUR HOME THE HARDER IT WILL BE TO LEAVE UNLESS YOU BECOME TOO AFRAID TO BE THERE ALONE!!!! THAT HAPPENED TO ME ,,THAT WAS MY FIRST MOVE TO THE OUTDORRS, I BECAME TOO AFRAID TO LEAVE BUT THEN WAS TOO AFRAID TO BE THERE ALONE ,,,WHAT DO YOU DO THEN????? MY INSTINCTS TOOK ME TO MY FRONT YARD, AND THERE I PANICED,,, SO JURRK I AM TRYING TO TELL YOU UNLESS YOU CAN GET HELP FOR YOUR SITUATION,, YOU WILL BE IN A NO WIN CYCLE OF PANIC... THIS IS A VERY GOOD PLACE FOR SUPPORT AND THE PEOPLE DO UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE DEALING WITH SO JOIN IN ON CHAT AND GET MORE OPINIONS ,,OK??? I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!!! FLORENCE :rolleyes:

jurrk
05-16-2007, 04:05 PM
YOU CAN CALL YOUR COUNTY OR STATE MENTAL HEALTH DEPT. AND FIND OUT WHAT HELP THEY CAN GIVE YOU!



Thanks for that bit of advice, for some reason that had simply never crossed my mind (prolly too busy thinking "woe is me" and what not)

dino
05-16-2007, 04:33 PM
Dear Jurrk
I just want to say firstly a huge welcome to this fab forum ,secondly just to say your in no way alone with having all the horrible symtoms of agoraphobia
I myself have suffered this hell for over ten years ,i am so glad that florence could direct you in trying to get some medical help
Just want to say we are all here for you aswell,and hope to meet you in chat one night
keep fighting i know easier said than done ,thinking of you
love dino
xxxxxxx
http://i113.photobucket.com/albums/n205/kellz_bellz_1027/welcome8.gif

05-17-2007, 03:27 PM
Dear Jurrk,

Yes first of all welcome to this great forum, and maybe will see you in chat soon :) It is also a wonderful place to get information and talk to other who feel as you do. A lot of what you are describing I deal with too, so you are definately not alone. And yes it is great that Florence could give you the medical info that may send you in the right direction. Take care of yourself, and hope to see you back here or in chat real soon!!

http://i198.photobucket.com/albums/aa65/cdn_bluecowgirl/Welcome/welcometoourgroupsmiles.gif

Hugs
~bluecowgirl