Self Harm

[ugly]

Hello, I'm 28 years old and I've been self harming on and off for about 5 years or so.

I had been seeing a doctor about depression and anxiety and as I slowly introduced a mention of self harm, she revealed more about the type of treatment which would be applicable. Having done this slow approach, I had been left with the impression from both my GP and counsellor that I could be hospitalised if self harm becomes a concern again.

Additionally, I feel more ashamed of this than anything else and even "admitting" that I "used to" do it was very difficult.

So far, I've had a year of different meds, counsellors, CPN advice and CBT. I feel worse now than I did a year ago. Counselling is no longer available as they have recorded that it didn't help me, my CPN is useless and i feel that I'm too far gone for the CBT to be helpful.

I don't know where to go from here. I'll see my doc once a month for fluoxetine but no other help is forthcoming now. I may change my meds soon because they aren't working but meds aren't going to cure me, are they?

I can't tell my doctor about my two aborted suicide attempts (very close calls) or the self harm because I'm scared that I'll end up hospitalised. I feel like my crappy job is the only thing I've got going for me. I hate it so much but I'd rather be busy working than sitting around wanting to slice up my own flesh. :(

:( :(

[dino]

DEAR NICE PERSON
I AM NOT GOING TO CALL YOU UGLY AS JUST BY READING YOUR POST I CAN ALREADY TELL HOW UPSET AND HURT YOU ARE DUE TO YOUR CONDITION ,AND NO ONE IS UGLY
ALTHOUGH I AM NOT A SELF HARMER I CAN SYMPATHISE WITH THE BIT ABOUT YOU HAVING A USLESS CPN MINES WAS AS MUCH GOOD AS A CHOCLATE TEAPOT THTS PUTTING IT MILDLY LOL
PLEASE LET YOUR DOCTOR KNOW EVERYTHING ,YOU SAY VERY CLOSE CALLS ON SUICIDE ATTEMPTS ,PLEASE BELIEVE ME BY TELLING HIM THIS DOES NOT IN THIS DAY AND AGE MEAN YOU WILL BE PUT AWAY BY ANY MEANS
FINALLY A HUGE HUGE WELCOME TO THIS GREAT FORUM AND MAYBE HOPE TO CATCH YOU IN CHAT ONE NIGHT
LOVE DINO
XXXXXXXX
http://i169.photobucket.com/albums/u239/mago1cholo/i178868103_48058_4.jpg

[ugly]

Thank you

[petal]

Dear NicePerson :)

Welcome to the forum! Thanks for telling us a little about yourself.

I'm not surprised that the CBT did not work for you. It doesn't work for everyone despite it being the 'flavour of the month' to treat psychological disorders.

You mentioned that you are working and that's great. Hang on to your work. As you do work and most likely could afford a private therapist, I'd definitely find a private psychologist for therapy, but not a psychologist who uses CBT. There are loads of other treatment methods besides CBT. To find a psychologist, there should be a website for Scottish registered psychologists. I've looked up the website for you. It's http://www.bps.org.uk/bps/e-services/find-...t/directory.cfm ('http://www.bps.org.uk/bps/e-services/find-a-psychologist/directory.cfm') I'd most likely try to look for a clinical psychologist as they have studied for longer than registered psychologists.

Don't be afraid to ask questions when you're looking for a psychologist. Ask them what methods they use to treat clients. If you hear the words CBT, then look for someone else.

Like Dino mentioned, I think it's very unlikely that 'they' will try to put you in hospital because of your self harm behaviour or history of attempted suicides. The state of the public mental health system in Britain is so dire that they are only usually interested in hospitalising those with severe psychosis. You'd only get hospitalised against your own will if you were in crisis and very sick.

You are definitely not beyond being able to be helped. It's just a matter of finding a treatment that works for you. Please, do look around for an alternative. Many people end up feeling like failures because CBT doesn't work for them. This is because, in my own opinion, CBT isn't a very good treatment option. In fact, I think it's a crap treatment that only works with mild pyschological disorders, not ones that have been hanging around in your life for years.

Do keep hope with you. Things will change. Please put in the effort to look around for a treatment option that's right for you. If you put in the effort to get better, I'm sure you'll succeed.

You take care now.

Wishing you all the best
Petal http://www.clicksmilies.com/s1106/natur/nature-smiley-013.gif

[Brian_depr]

Dear Friend,
I myself am a self-harmer. I am also like yourself, scared to tell a doctor about the self-harm and past suicide attempt's, for reasoning I don't want to get put away. I was recently denied help pretty much because im moving to another state. The doc pretty much said get the hell out of my office, your moving so i can't help you. Talk about a huge trigger. But i have been doing what these great wonderfull people on this site, and in the chat have been telling me to do. Just keep your head up and think good positive thought's.

Hang in there friend
Stay strong
it will get better



-Brian-

[ugly]

Hang on to your work. As you do work and most likely could afford a private therapist, I'd definitely find a private psychologist for therapy, but not a psychologist who uses CBT
Thank you both for the kind replies :)

I have a job that keeps me busy but it is exceptionally poorly paid. I know of people who see private help and I can't afford what they pay. Need to get a better job first. :unsure:

Anyway.. I keep trying despite feeling like this. I don't know how much longer I can try though. Maybe I'm possessed? :o

[ugly]

Thank you Brian_depr. Missed your reply, I must have taken too long on the last one.

I was in the chat room but it's not particularly welcoming this evening :(

Everyone in the forum seems so nice though, so I'm sure I'll be back.

[ugly]

Please call me UGLY

[Brian_depr]

Just checkin in on ye Billy, Hope ya doing ok

Your Friend,
-Brian-

[FLORENCE]

:) :)



Billy, I think you are a great person, you are finally coming out to chat,,,Thx for that,, a big step forward!!!
As far as keeping things from the Dr. that's not a good idea,,you need to be as honest as you can Billy. He or she will not judge you they have to know all about you, only so they know how to treat you...You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of,,as you have not asked for this problem. You hold your head high Billy you are as good as any other person on this earth!!! The meds will not cure you, but make it easier for you to function,,,and only if they are the right meds, which brings us back to the honesty,,,you have to tell them , so you will be put on the med for your condition..OK????:):) Luv ya Billy,,,,FLORENCE :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[FLORENCE]

:) :)



Billy, I think you are a great person, you are finally coming out to chat,,,Thx for that,, a big step forward!!!
As far as keeping things from the Dr. that's not a good idea,,you need to be as honest as you can Billy. He or she will not judge you they have to know all about you, only so they know how to treat you...You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of,,as you have not asked for this problem. You hold your head high Billy you are as good as any other person on this earth!!! The meds will not cure you, but make it easier for you to function,,,and only if they are the right meds, which brings us back to the honesty,,,you have to tell them , so you will be put on the med for your condition..OK????:):) Luv ya Billy,,,,FLORENCE :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[ugly]

Billy, I think you are a great person, you are finally coming out to chat,,,Thx for that,, a big step forward!!!
Yeah, right :(