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Stray
02-04-2007, 10:59 AM
:grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr @ Agorophobia.





i remember being happy once...



*sigh*

02-04-2007, 11:25 AM
Stray..

Maybe one day we can all have our lives back and be happy again huh.. Something to aim for and look forward to ;)

<HUGS>

Caroline x

Stray
02-04-2007, 06:19 PM
i used to be carefree... not a worry in the world.

Lived for the Day, and somehow survived all Those nights ;)



:meh... now i'd have more chance of finding WMD's than i'd have driving down the highway without Peaking Out :(

02-04-2007, 10:44 PM
WMD,s? Whats that mean - Oks im a woman not blone though <pokes tongue> :P

Stray
02-04-2007, 11:20 PM
lol... Weapons of Mass Destruction.



them fictitious things Bush was looking for... but didnt realise they were right next to his car keys all the time ;)

02-05-2007, 12:20 AM
Ahhhhhhhhh oks.. Never heard it called that before but saying sounds good :)

As many posts? Ahhhhhhhh jees mun i canny keep up with you LOL..

Im slowly learning to post more :P

<still shy>

Purdy x

Stray
02-05-2007, 03:36 AM
:D


<--------------------------- never shy :lol:



i am trying to take it easy here though...

i coule double the sites posts in a week if i let loose. :shrug:

Stray
02-06-2007, 08:34 AM
**** UPDATE ****































































































i still hate my life *sigh*

02-06-2007, 04:35 PM
<Hugs> Stray ((((( )))))

Luvvas

Caroline.x.

Stray
02-07-2007, 02:08 AM
lol CP... your a dear ;)



now, i went out today, only to a local service station to drop a car in for an inspection, and on the trip back i got all fuddled again. grrrrrr

Then when we went to pick it up this afternoon i got fuddled again driving home. As soon as i get home i am fine.


another grrrrrrrrr here.




why? I'm intelligent enough to know it aint nothing but the agorophobia making me anxious, which makes me over breathe, which makes me have the feelings of "Oh shit i'm gonna pass out and i'll be dead. I'm gonna die. I cant do this. Blah Blah Blah..."


:meh


one more grrrrrrrrrrrrrr





Life continues... stay tuned ;)

Stray
02-08-2007, 12:58 AM
well i am supposed to go to a Meeting tonight, like a 12 Step thing, and it is on the other side of town, which is only a 25 minute drive... but i cant get myself to go.

I had been ready to go up until last night, and have been thinking and thinking about the trip and what will happen to me if i try it... grrrrrrrr



i know if i get oin the car and drive there i am going to have an attack... i just know it... and i will be away from home and safety and such, and as silly as that sounds, it is stopping me from doing this.

Here i am, offered a chance to try something to help me and i am holding myself back from doing it simply because of this irrational FEAR that i will have an attack and stop breathing and die or have a heart attack on my way there.




i soooooooooooooooooooo hate my life :(

02-08-2007, 07:56 AM
Stray,

All here for ya oks.. Its one of those things one day you can do it next you cant, dont feel a failure always set backs but there another day huh.. We go over that hurdle then back again but only way to go is forward.. Keep positive.. Thinking of ya!

<Big Huggles>

Luvvas Caroline.x.

Stray
02-08-2007, 09:00 AM
:woohoo


i got a hug!!!

dino
02-08-2007, 09:23 AM
DEAR STRAY
I KNOW JUST HOW YE FEEL BELIEVE ME ,DUE TO MY STUPID AGROPHOBIA, PANIC ETC I HAVE BEEN DISMISSED FROM ALL MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES BUT HEY WANT THE TRUTH THE TWAT SHRINK I WAS SEEING WIS MORE IN NEED O A SHRINK THAN ME SO I SAID F**K THEM ALL
SERIOUSLY THOUGH STRAY I KNOW THT BLOODY FEELING OF DESPAIR JUST MIND WE ARE ALL HERE TO TRY AND HELP AND SUPPORT YE
PERSONALLY I HAVE HAD MORE HELP ON THIS FORUM AND IN CHAT THAN ANY O THE POXY PCYCHOLOGISTS AND SHRINKS I HAVE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE TO MEET
ALL WE CAN DO IS TRY TO THINK ONE DAY WE CAN ALL GET OVER ALL THIS ,THEN YE ARE ALL COMING TO BONNIE SCOTLAND FOR A WILD PARTY LOL
TAKE CARE STRAY AND TRY NO TO BEAT YOURSELF UP TO MUCH
FFS I SOUND LIKE THE LATE CLAIRE WEEKS PMSL
LOVE DINO
XXXXXX

http://i89.photobucket.com/albums/k237/sensualyenni/youhavejustbeenhugged.gif

FLORENCE
02-08-2007, 11:51 AM
:( :(



Stray,,,,,I'm so sorry you are hating life right now ... It can come back. All these horrible feelings you r having ,,,i know just how you feel . Please don't be so hard on yourself, you did get to the garage with your car and back and you didn't die!!!!! That right there is a big step, you r not alone ,,I've been diagnosed for 13 yrs and I have learned to go a bit at a time. Don't give up Stray!!!! You can beat this!! A Friend FLORENCE :rolleyes: :rolleyes:









"YOU CAN'T STOP THE WAVES BUT YOU CAN LEARN TO SURF"

Stray
02-08-2007, 07:43 PM
wow you guys are so nice...




kinda makes me wanna behave a little better.


Nearly ;)

panicgirl
02-09-2007, 12:31 AM
Stray I know how bad you feel and I have to say I had a really bad Panic attack Wed. Nite and It was one of the worst ones I have had In a very long time.
I hated my life that nite but today I feel better and my life Is not so bad now.
I do not know about you but the better days brings out a lot of good feelings and thoughts but when the panic sets in my worst thoughts come and linger and linger until I rid of the panic.
Our lives are a disaster when we are crippled with panic.
We are all going to find a way out of this shit panic hole we live :)

Stray
02-09-2007, 08:35 AM
Cheers PG.


It bites when you get them again... grrrrrrrr



you lot are just so nice ;)

panicgirl
02-09-2007, 12:37 PM
Cheers PG.
It bites when you get them again... grrrrrrrr
you lot are just so nice ;)




Stray you are right it does bite and when they come again and again we feel so hopeless.
We all just need to keep on trying and not ever give up.
I hate feeling panic but i know deep down that it will pass and then i will feel ok but then when it returns i get depressed but then i relize it will go away again.
I just get so tired of this shit and wish it would just go away and never come back.
Nobody should have to go through this fear we all go through.

Stray
02-14-2007, 09:57 AM
I still cant travel more than a few streets from home.



:grrrrrrrrrr


this SUCKS because i love my cars and i love driving!!!!

panicgirl
02-15-2007, 06:44 PM
I still cant travel more than a few streets from home.
:grrrrrrrrrr
this SUCKS because i love my cars and i love driving!!!!




Stray do you have a cell phone?
If so do you have a support person that can talk to you while you go out and drive useing a head set so you are hands free?

I have gone driveing and store shopping with Rocky many of times and she has done just great doing this and she has gone alone many times since and she was home bound for 9 years before this and now she is one to show you can do it and I know you can do It and I will be willing to help you If you like.

Long ago I was In fear to even walk out my door let alone drive and here today I do a lot on my own and it took a lot on my part to get here and now i just need to never give up and keep on going.

Stray
02-16-2007, 10:16 AM
ayup...


i been driving to work for the last 7 years, been good for most of it.

couple years before that i was not able to leave me front door, or look out the windows... but that only lasted three months, before i crawled back in society.



this wont last. Aint gonna let it.


Stray bounces :nod:

panicgirl
02-16-2007, 02:10 PM
ayup...
i been driving to work for the last 7 years, been good for most of it.

couple years before that i was not able to leave me front door, or look out the windows... but that only lasted three months, before i crawled back in society.
this wont last. Aint gonna let it.
Stray bounces :nod:



What a go Stray and I love your attitude towards not letting this anxiety trap you.
If you ever need someone to go with you on bad days i will be here for you. :)

Stray
02-16-2007, 07:15 PM
i'm a good driver me.


never had a accident... but i have seen plenty in my rearview mirror...


hmmmm... no, i dont really wanna consider the implications of that comment.

panicgirl
02-18-2007, 03:46 AM
i'm a good driver me.
never had a accident... but i have seen plenty in my rearview mirror...
hmmmm... no, i dont really wanna consider the implications of that comment.




I hope all goes well for you :)

Stray
02-20-2007, 03:40 AM
bad fucken day today...


feel like i'm gonna die :(

dino
02-20-2007, 07:41 AM
DEAR STRAY
HANG IN THERE ,YOUR NO ALONE HUN
LOVE DINO
XXXXXXXX

http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b366/lilpeach_83/hanginthere2.jpg

02-20-2007, 07:51 AM
Stray ma Bud.. <BIG HUGGLES> As dino said hang in thier :)

Be a better day tomorrow! Tell the Negative to Fookle of and think on the Positive..

Take care

Lot of Luvvas

Caroline xxxxxxxxxx

FLORENCE
02-20-2007, 07:53 AM
:( :(


Stray,,,,so sorry you are having a bad day!!!!! I know I can only send you((((((((((((((((((((STRAY)))))))))))))))))))).. ......:)
Let's hope your tomorrow will be better.........Love you Stray.....FLORENCE :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Stray
02-26-2007, 09:50 AM
*** UPDATE!!! ***






i still hate my life.


Thats all... off you go...

02-26-2007, 07:15 PM
Hiyas Stray,

Sorry to hear your still down Bud.. Tomorrow may be a better day huh :-)

Ill be thinking of you..

Take Care

Lot of Luvvas

Mrs Purdy <Winks> xxxxxxxxx

Stray
02-27-2007, 08:45 AM
:woot!

Stray
03-02-2007, 06:19 AM
well...




GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!


So today has been constant... i woke up after 5 hours, and began the day by having breakfast and a smoke.

now, i know that i have to quit and you dont gotta tell me... but i have been checked by the docs and all is well in my chest and lungs, except i have been coughing up this clear gelatinous phlegm for months now, and the best we can find that is causing it is the Reflux i get. Grrrrrrrrrr


anyhoo... from about 11am through and including now and for the rest of tonight (it is only 11pm now) i have had this fixation on my chest and lungs and have been forcing myself to cough and to burp and just wondering if there really is something wrong in there and it's so fucking annoying i just wanna rip out my chestbonethingamyjigs and stick me hand down the useless and anally repudent lungs and turn them inside out and shake the shit out of them.

So... anyone tried this?


*sigh*





***UPDATE***

something really nice happened today, in a phonecall from a long long way away... but yet i still have to say:

I Hate My Life :(

dino
03-03-2007, 11:06 AM
DEAR STRAY
JUST LIKE YOU I HAVE A FIXATION THERES SOMETHING SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH MA CHEST AND LUNGS ,IF THIS STEMS FROM ME HYPERVENTALATING LOADS I AM NOT SURE ,BEFORE ALL THIS AGORAPHOBIA PANIC ETC STARTED IN MY NOW MISERABLE LIFE I HAD TO WATCH MY SEVERLLY HANDICAPPED SON NOW 18 STRUGGLE FOR BREATH EVERY DAY OF HIS LIFE ,PLUS UNDERGOING 26 OPERATIONS DUE TO HIS CONDITION HE STILL HAS DAYS YET WHERE HE HAS BAD ATTACKS,I WAS TOLD BY PYCHOLOGISTS AND DOCS THIS WAS THE COS OF ME BEING LIKE THIS NOW ,THIS I CANT GET MY HEAD AROUND AS I COPED THEN, I MEAN I HAD ANOTHER 3 KIDS WENT OUT HAD A NORMAL LIFE EVEN THOUGH LOADS TIME WAS SPENT 200 MILES AWAY IN NEAREST PEADIATRIC HOSPITAL
THEN 3 YEARS AGO I WATCHED MY BELOVED LATE FATHER STRUGGLE FOR EVERY BREATH DUE TO A RARE LUNG CONDITION ,WHAT MADE ME SO ANGRY AT THIS TIME WAS MY DAD WHO NEVER EVER IN HIS LIFE SUFFERED PANIC WAS TOLD BY A SO CALLED LUNG SPECIALIST GO HOME YOUR ONLY HAVING A PANIC ATTACK ,TURNS OUT MY DARLING DAD WAS INFACT HAVING A HEART ATTACK AND DIED 48 HOURS LATER
SO I AM LEFT SITTING HERE DAY IN DAY OUT WITH NO TRUST OR FAITH IN THE MEDICAL PROFFESION WHATSEVER
SORRY FOR WRITING A BOOK FFS ,JUST WANTED TO LET U KNOW YOUR NOT ALONE ,I KNOW ASWELL I NEED TO STOP SMOKING FFS BUT I JUST CANT http://bestsmileys.com/smoking/8.gif
OK I BETTER SIGN OOT BEFORE I BORE EVERONE TO TEARS SORRY FOR MY WEE VENT
LOVE DINO
XXXXXXXXhttp://bestsmileys.com/crying/14.gifTHIS IS HOW I FEEL MOST DAYS

Stray
03-04-2007, 01:39 AM
i want to say thank you Dino... you know it.

Stray
03-12-2007, 09:14 AM
a little better... some pressure and stress has been relieved.



Still hate me life though... *sigh*


one day...............

andrew swalwell
03-12-2007, 09:57 AM
HI STRAY I WOULD LOVE A GAME OFF CARDS WITH YOU MATE.HANG IN THERE ,ANDREW

Stray
03-19-2007, 11:38 AM
as long as youre not thinking of strip poker... i'm in ;)